Update Saturday 19th May 2012

HEY
It's been soo long, forgot about this till I started talking to Amer about his birthday post last year.
So much has happened.
I'm now dating someone called Scott. He's 19 and totally amazing. He's gorgeous, a genius and totally fit. We've been dating for just more than 3 months  and it's been the best 3 months. I met him in October through my mum and his mum being best friends. We have had it tough, we fought a lot but we got through it all and now we're both really happy and I couldn't be in a happier relationship.

1 June 2011

The past couple of days have been qute eventful. Monday was my accounts and Finance exam I definitely failed, but I tried my best. I had to try and get a train to Glasgow for 12, I did. I met Thomas and his aunt, me and thomas kissed a lot of times. I told Amer he was mad and dumped me but we got back together and everything was fine. Now on Tuesday Thomas came to mine and we held hands and kissed  lot wasn't a good idea since I was still dating Amer, so when Amer came on msn Thomas told Amer for me. He was mad and dumped me, not surprising. so me, Thomas and Fiona went to the cinema to see Hangover 2 and I hardly saw the movie cause me and Thomas spent most of the movie kissing. Then I lost Thomas's ring so we had to seperate from Fiona wo went home and me and Thomas went looking for his ring, when we found it we went to McDonalds and Thomas bought food. We got a bus home but I couldnt see Thomas to train cause I had to get home and get dinner so me and Thomas kissed some more. Amer asked me back out I said yes I know I shouldn't of, cause then a big fight exploded over facebook and I could of stopped that from happening. I went out with Daniel today wish I had went to say bye to Thomas though, but I never. Me and Amer talked and we decided to become brother and sister again, so nearly everything is perfect again. It will be perfect when Mimo and Amer become brothers again and Mimo stops asking me out, but hey what can i say loads of people have asked me out since I became single. LOL!

Thursday 26 May 2011

I have quite a lot to tell. To start off I have 3 new friends Abd, Mohammed and the other one not quite sure about his name but he's my friend all the sam. All 3 of them are from Beirut, 2 are friends with Amer and the other 1 Amer doesn't like him and he doesn't like Amer either. Me and Thomas had this big fight but we sorted it out now and hopefully he's gotten the hint that all we're ever gonna be is friends, he's coming to Scotland on Monday till Wednesday me and Lauren are gonnameet up with him. Me and Amer are back together, I'm so happy that we are but I cant tell anyone except my friends on myyearbook. I told Abu I knew he would be mad but I didn't think it would end with him hating me, I hate that I lost him, I hate that this happened again. It happened when I went out with Thomas I lost Harlen, I'm ghutted I did he was my best friend I could talk to him about everything just like I could rely on Abu to help me when I had a problem but I've lost both of them and I don't know what to do without them. They even stayed friends with me when I told them about Amy Lawson. I don't know what to do. I want my friends back but I don't know how do that when 1 of them won't tell me why they hate me and the other 1 wants m to break up with my boyfriend.

Sunday 22nd May 2011

Yesterday everything went wrong. The morning was ok,  went to Fiona's a bit late then we had to go to Braehead where we were meant to meet Thomas but he couldn't make it. So we went shopping ourselves it was really fun, we also drew on the bus windows when they steamed up.

But later that night something happened. I don't know what happened but the next thing everyone was saying things about Amer, I can't remember much my head was a mess. I remember unblocking Thomas N cause I needed someone to rant to but in the end Thomas teamed up with Lauren and they both went against me. Even Abu wasn't helpful since he lied to me to try and get me to break up with Amer by saying that he loved me. Which made me upset cause he is my best friend, but he lied to me and i'm mad at him for that. I don't like being lied to, I know I can't say anything about lying the amount I've told but mine are different and I can't say how on here they jut are though.

This morning I fought with Thomas and he sent part of the conversation to Lauren who sent it to Amer and because of that I had to break up with Amer and it hurt cause I love him I really. Thomas also sent me an email

"Dear Amy,

                I love you so much, more that you can ever belive possible and I know I have done stupid things in the past like cheating im a changed guy now and all I want to is to see you happy even if that means you going back out with that other guy. Just make sure your safe.

I know I do a lot of shit that makes you hate me and im sorry about cheating on you with laurie but I wasn’t well then and I have changed and I am well now. I just want to show you how much I love you. If you want me to I will book a caravan for a few weeks in saltcoats as theres a holiday park there and I have been there before. I want to take you out for a long romantic stroll down a beach and kiss you on the beach and never let you go.

I know your prob never going to forgive me for what I did but I pleed you to try and that I would never cheat again and let me earn your trust again. I know deep down you still love me and I want to try to get that to show so we can be together again but stronger this time and never let anything between us."

To be truthful I don't know what to say back. I know I shouidn't say this and I know I'll regret it but chances are deep down I still love Thomas. Nothing can happen between us though, it's to late.

Total Randomness on 19th May

I don't know what to talk about not alots happened today but I'm sure I'll find something.
I WANT TO WISH MY BOYFRIEND AMER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I love you so much and I'm glad I met you.
I'm really sorry about everything I know I can get jealous easily and I over react at every small thing, I'm sorry but it's the way I am cause of what happened last time, it has nothing to do with you just me being scared of losing you.
Thomas keeps begging me to get back with him but I never will. I wouldn't of got back with him after we broke up so its not cause I don't love him (well i don't anymore) it's really due to not knowing if I could ever trust him again. Yeah you say put the past behind me and give you a 2nd chance but that will never happen. I just wish he would leave me alone cause he's trying to make me feel guilty for stuff thats not my fault and I really hate it and soon it's gonna make me hate him.

MY FAVOURITE QUOTES

Wednesday 18th May 2011

The last couple of days have been very tiring. I told Amer that I liked him, didn't expect him to tell me he loved me back but he did. So he had to go talk to Omar cause he liked me and wanted to go out with me and didn't want to loose his friend but Omar said it was fine. I was talking to him today and he was alright didn't talk alot to me but I think it was cause he was mad at me for keep saying that I wasn't pretty. Abu's trying to help me with conidence with calling me, he did a couple of days ago, and it was pretty scary. I'm not good with calls, last time I had a long call that I felt comfortable having was a year ago with my best friend Lauren and it lasted about an hour. I've not good self esteem, I was asked by Amer to put on myyearbook as my status "if you think I'm pretty please like" there was about 8 people who liked it within the 2 hours.
I had a near death experience a couple of days ago. It was so scary. Alex was driving down this deserted road and it was 1 lane but cars were coming both ways. Alex was driving quit fast for once and there was this car following us and me and Lauren kept saying it was the demented surgeon from the human centipede cause we saw a guy at the hotel we were visiting and it was completly scary. Alex's driving never helped either as he nearly went over the edge of the hill about 5 time. Now I don't believe in god but let me tell you I was praying for my life.
My ex Thomas is becoming annoying. I want to be friends with him soo much but he needs to stop asking me out. I love and I'm happy with Amer, he just won't see that I can't just let him back in my heart. I can't ever get back with Thomas anyway cause Amer promised that if I ever got back with Thomas then he would get back with Shelby. I love Amer though and I don't know how long we'll last, or what will happen during the course of our relationship, all I know is that I want it last he's soo amazing and I'm so lucky to have him. So my life's been good so far not alot of rubbish has happened except from when I have my very bad mood swings, tummy ache, and aching migraine.

catch up =)

Not wrote on here since the 15^th of February so there’s a lot to catch up on then (everything’s in order of date cause I copied it out my diary, but only small parts of each day) I have a dog now, it did belong to my cousin but 3 was to many for them so I got 1 and his names Ringo he loves being clapped and hugged all my friends love him and want to steal him.

I’ve started writing a new story it’s called “A writers romance” there’s going to be a follow on called “Writing and my man are the loves of my life” my friend Fiona came up with the story titles since she wasn’t using them.

I’m totally looking forward to summer it cant come fast enough for the days I can wear my shorts and my cool knee high socks. My summer plans are all ready I have T in the park, camping, birthday, more camping and the days in between will be for meeting up with my cousins and my friends and also going out with my gran.

I’ve found this new website which I’m totally addicted to it’s a bit weird I have to admit there are some freaks on it but there’s also some really cool people like Amer-he calls me his little sister, he looks out for me on the website and I look out for him, Abu-he listens to me and is also trying to teach me to become more confident in myself, omar-Amer’s friend don’t know much about him other than he likes me, and talks to me(when he’s on), and lastly Thomas-he’s my ex, I still talk to him but only cause every time I deleted him he kept messaging me to add him again, he keeps asking me out but I won’t and there’s a few stories to it 1 reason is cause he cheated and probably will again but the other reason is that if I go back out with Thomas then Amer goes back out with his cheating ex-girlfriend so we made a deal(me and Amer not to go back out with them).

I want to talk about my weird relationships I’ve had recently and there definitely weird. There was Thomas first our relationship was a weird one i was with him then I dumped him, then I got back with him to dump him again for JohnJames then when he dumped me I went back out with Thomas, and lastly dumped him again for cheating. It was that third time that I went out with Thomas that I fell in love with him, but I don’t even know why I did, I just know that I did. I broke up with him because he was texting my best friend asking her to sleep with him, so I broke up with him for that then he gave me his facebook password and I’m sure like most people would of done I went on his account and read his messages which is how I found out he was cheating. Since then he’s been in and out of my life. As I mentioned there was JohnJames in between that we never lasted long only about a couple of days he broke up with me because I wouldn’t sleep with him. So as you can see both my relationships have ended badly wondering if that’s trying to tell me something. After my break up with Thomas though I was pretty mad and also upset, it never helped with a friend on my back everyday telling me to move on, but because of those things I did some stupid stuff on my myyearbook so I had to deactivate my account and I made a new one. I started again and I’m glad I did cause now I know all the amazing people I know today and can call my friends. Suppose everything does happen for a reason.